I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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