my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
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theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
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I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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