just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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