Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize