I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
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You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize