just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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