So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
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You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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