I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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