i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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