True but thats because hes a fetus.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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