Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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