I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
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We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
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I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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