dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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