You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I don't deserve a penis
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize