Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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