u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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