She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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