There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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