it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize