There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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