: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You may now shotgun with the bride
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize