maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize