So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize