sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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