i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
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I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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