if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize