I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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