There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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