She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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