So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize