I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My bed smells like the plague
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize