its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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