I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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