ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
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So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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