I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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