i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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