He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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