ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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