You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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