Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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