Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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