If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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