It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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