Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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