I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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