So drunk, too bad you don't want this
if i can run in heels then i can drive
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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