Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
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No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
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I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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