i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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