conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize