Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
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For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
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Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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